No Regrets

Regret minimization is one of those concepts, like taking a long sabbatical, that everyone agrees would be good but very few people actually go through with.

That’s probably because life is full of regrettable moments, many of which are fun or otherwise pleasurable in the short term. And because it is almost impossible to minimize regrets if you haven’t first thought about what you might regret — and most people haven’t thought about that very hard.

When you are done reading this short essay, we recommend you make your own personal list. We can’t tell you whether you should sleep more or sleep less, or what your dating habits should look like. But there are some things that are both 1. Very common behaviors and 2. Things that you’ll likely regret. We made a list of those regrets.

This list intentionally avoids really obvious ones — like becoming addicted to drugs — because you already know you would regret that. Most of the below, thankfully, are easy to avoid.

Not getting in amazing shape earlier. It’s harder to play catchup the longer you put this off. We’re not talking about starve yourself and weigh 70 pounds shape, but feel and perform the best of your life shape.
Not wearing a helmet (or seatbelt). You may actually die. That would suck. Imagine dying because you thought using a helmet was uncool. Nobody at the funeral is going to say, “Well, at least they went out like a badass.”
Talking shit about people. If everyone is crazy, you might be the crazy one. Also, some of the people you talk shit about will find out eventually.

Especially ex-relationships. We aren’t your therapist, but constantly talking shit about a bad ex means giving them free space in your mind and life.

Not wearing sunscreen. Don’t be one of those weird sunscreen truthers — or worse yet, think the sun won’t affect you. Just buy a good sunscreen and wear it. The future version of you will be grateful.
Not calling your parents. If you’re an adult, you may see them less than 100 or 50 or 10 more times before they die. Talk to them. (Of course exceptions here if you have terrible parents.)
Blaming others (even if it’s partly their fault). When something happens in your life that you don’t like, one tendency is to blame other people. Sometimes other people are at fault, yes — but it can be very self-limiting to believe that your own fate is out of your control.

Not taking the flight. There’s that beach you want to move to. Or that mountain you want to climb. Or that city you’ve been dreaming about your whole life. And you only have so many days left. So take the flight.
Having lactose when you’re intolerant. Not that this one needed to be said, really, but we have enough friends who regularly make the trade of a 1-hour bathroom trip for a good milkshake. If you don’t regret this, then, by all means.

Putting off that surgery you need (and/or not doing PT). It sucks. And it is also totally worth it (generally — of course depends on your issue).
Texting instead of talking live. If you’re going to text someone for more than a few minutes at a time, just talk live. That’s how humans are made to talk. Anyone who’s ever tried to make a joke that flopped over text knows that the tone, when typing, just isn’t the same.

Taking small things really seriously. If you’ve ever read r/AITA, you’ll notice it is filled with people who made small problems into huge ones by refusing to take the high road. Small things are small. They might feel big in the moment, but they aren’t. Take the high road. Buckle up. Move on.

Choosing to be around toxic people. Personal and professional, you’ll regret not ditching toxic people sooner. This isn’t totally avoidable in some cases. But when you can, it’s worth doing.

Not taking more photos. Life is short. Take the photo. Smile for your parents.

Taking too many photos. Life is short. Take the photo when there’s a reason to take the photo, sure. But don’t live through your screen. You see those people who watch concerts through their phone’s video camera, or who wander cathedrals recording it all — you’ll probably regret that.

Half committing to things. Do the whole thing or don’t do it at all. The satisfaction you’ll get from working hard on something, and doing it well, is way bigger than the dopamine hit of saying “yes” to yet another thing you’re not actually committed to.

Being unloyal. Some people chase shiny objects forever — both in work and in personal relationships. And while it is tempting to think the grass is so much greener that you should abandon something in your current life, you are usually wrong, and you will usually regret it.

Refusing to do uncomfortable things. Living a life of hedonistic comfort — no hard work, no things you don’t want to do, general entitlement — will ironically make you less happy. And when later in life you see that other people are enjoying the benefits of having endured uncomfortable things, you may regret that you decided not to take that path.
Not taking enough risks. Not all risks are good, but most people are probably too risk-averse. Send the text. Take the job. Make the move. Start the company. You really don’t have that much time on this planet, and we’d guess that most people won’t look back and be supremely satisfied by a life filled with aversion to risk. And some of the best things can only be reached by taking risks.

Email us if you have any more we should add. You may come across some great, broadly applicable ones as you write a personal list.

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