Magic Pills
Alien 1: [Using something that looks vaguely like a digital tablet]
“Ugh, I cannot beat this last level. I keep getting stuck.”
Alien 2: “Really? It can’t be that hard. Let me try. How does it work?”
Alien 1: “It gives you a problem. Then you write a solution.”
Alien 2: “Easy enough.”
[Pixel art-style game music fires up. Beep boop bop.]
[A narrator’s voice crackles over the speaker: Welcome to BOTTLENECK ELIMINATOR!]
Level 1
Problem: Humans have no food.
Solution: Get the humans to hunt.
[Next level →]
Level 2
Problem: Hunting is hard and inefficient.
Solution: Invent agriculture. Humans can farm and efficiently produce more calories.
[Next level →]
Level 3
Problem: Too many calories. Humans are now obese.
Solution: Invent a magic pill that makes them eat less so they become thin again.
[Next level →]
* * *
Alien 2: [Looking smug] “You thought this was hard?”
Alien 1: “Just wait. You’ll see.”
* * *
Level 4
Problem: Humans are thin again. But now they need more muscle, and without going to the gym (because they are lazy).
Solution: Invent a magic pill that gives them muscle.
[Next level →]
Level 5
Problem: Humans are healthy and strong but their minds are suffering. They have no purpose. And now they are all depressed.
Solution: Invent a magic pill that makes them happy.
[Next level →]
Level 6
Problem: The magic happiness pill is too one-dimensional. Humans need to be sad in order to be happy!
Solution: Invent a magic pill that gives humans the right dose of sadness.
[Next level →]
Level 7
Problem: The happiness and sadness pills are still too one-dimensional.
Solution: Invent a magic pill for every single emotion.
[Next level →]
Level 8
Problem: Humans don’t know which magic pills to take.
Solution: Invent a magic pill to tell you which magic pill to take.
* * *
Alien 2: “There. I did it. I won, right?”
Alien 1: “Check and see.
[Check solution →]
[ERROR: GAME FAILED. TRY AGAIN?]
Alien 1: “See?”
Alien 2: “Damn. Well. Okay. Let me try again.
* * *
[A loading screen appears. On the loading screen, there is a tooltip.
It reads…
Hint: Maybe try your next run without all the magic pills?]
* * *
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